The Forgotten Slytherin
by Byroms
Summary: Rated M for Strong Language. The Gaunts aren't the true heirs of Slytherin. The true line of Slytherin was cursed by the Gaunts to be forever forgotten by everyone they meet, except destined friends and their one true mate. Sounds cheesy? Trust me it isn't. For the current Slytherin heir, Smaug Slytherin, is anything but cheesy.


**AN: Yup posting another Story even though I don't frequently update my other ones. For that I deeply apologize. But anyway, just had this story in mind. It's a complete AU of the Harry Potter Verse. Voldemort was never, he was adopted by the true Slytherin Line. If you want to know more just keep on reading. Harry is only a side character in this, Luna and Draco are older and different and I am also kind of "borrowing" an idea from jbern also known as the Author Jim Bernheimer(namely the Sorting Hat being a potty mouth teehee) I asked his permission and he was awesome enough to give me permission to use it :D So beware language!**

Begin of Story

**Prologue (kind of)**

What a shitty year this will be. I mean they couldn't even let me enjoy a fucking normal last year in this shithole they call school. The goatfucking Headmaster just announced that this year we are gonna have the super duper fun Triwizard Tournament. If you can't tell I'm being sarcastic. They are just reviving this to annoy me I just know it. Yeah sure they don't even know I'm here half the time and the time that the headmaster does remember I'm here is usually when I have been caught talking to my best friends in his office. Not sure who I am talking about? Why Fawkes and the Sorting Hat of course. They are the only ones who really know how it rolls. Hat and Fawkes are ancient so they don't use sunglasses when looking at reality. I learned a lot from them. Oh yeah you gonna need my name for the story right? It's Smaug Slytherin nice to meet y'all. I am from the Slytherin everyone forgot about because the douchebag Gaunts cursed us for throwing them out of the family. But really one of their ancestors actually wanted to fuck his sister to reproduce, good thing my ancestor, Siegfried Slytherin, drew the line right there. Blood purity is all good and well but I mean ugh his sister? Good thing they lost all of the powers except the one. Do I have to tell you which one it was? Parseltongue duh. Anyway enjoy me going through my last year at Hogwarts while I will surely get pulled into it somehow even though no one ever notices me.

**Real Story Begins Now**

Smaug sighed after the announcement. He was already feeling that fate was going to take a big shit on him.

He looked to the blonde-haired blue-eyed girl next to him who was wearing strange glasses and reading the magazine "Quibbler" upside down. As if noticing his stare she just nodded and he sighed again. Now he knew this was going to be a pain in the ass.

Silently he slipped out of the Great Hall and took a shortcut to the Headmasters office.

The gargoyle leapt aside and let him in. As he walked up the stairs he contemplated what kind of insults he would throw at the new French witches if they would ever notice him. French women hat a temper so riling them up would be easy enough and they would immediately forget after he left.

The Durmstrang lot would probably need some more refined insults, after all they probably insulted each other on a daily basis.

Smaug sat down on the Headmasters chair and made himself comfortable by slinging his legs over the side of it.

Fawkes trilled in greetings and flew over to him to sit down on Smaugs shoulder.

"Hey Fawkes, how is it flying?"

Fawkes trilled a happy note.

"Yeah me too, did you know about this Tournament bullshit?"

Fawkes trilled affirmably with a gleam in his eye.

"You… you suggested it didn't you?"

Fawkes trill sounded suspiciously like a chuckle.

"I hate you rainbow turkey."

Fawkes puffed out his chest angrily and smacked Smaug with his tail feathers.

"Come here you!"

He leapt up and tried to catch Fawkes, but the phoenix just flew up to the biggest shelf and this time his trill sounded like he was laughing.

At that moment the Sorting Hat popped in and instantly he began cursing "these brats with their dirty and sticky hands"

"Hat nice of you to join us, was it you that implemented this idea of the Triwizard tournament in the pigeons head?"

"_Don't know what you are talking about Worm-dick."_

"Suure you don't, so what have you been up to this summer? Did Dumbledore finally provide you with some entertainment and brought up a girl or two?"

"_No such luck there Slytherin, why didn't you take me with you this summer? Then I would have at least gotten to see a shag or two who would panic upon waking up next to you not remembering you."_

"Well unfortunately since this is my last year in Hogwarts, my parents decided to take me on a rite of passage. Basically they put me on an island full of all kinds of monsters and I had to survive without my fucking wand."

"_Without your dick? That's harsh, you must have serious blue balls by now. I can guarantee though that the French bitches that are coming are supposedly total babes. And they don't call it French kiss for nothing."_

"Ha-ha very funny you oversized condom for Godrics dick. You know what I mean. I picked up some nasty injuries, since I wasn't even allowed to transform."

Smaug stopped to think.

"I might take that up though. New goal for the year: Sleep with all female foreign students."

"_Don't forget to save the memory for me, I want all the juicy details, though try to censor you out. It really turns me off when you can see the guy in the porno."_

"Yeah yeah, sure whatever. I better get going though, Sabra wants her meal fresh and I didn't wrap it up so it's gonna get old real quick."

He went out of the Headmasters office and down the stairs.

As he reached the dungeons he opened the secret passage to the founders' heir room. It consisted out of three rooms, a lounge, the bedroom and the bathroom. Everything was in silver and green. A big silver couch was set in front of a fireplace, a big bear pelt was laying between the couch and fireplace.

A chess set stood to the side on a big mahogany table with matching chairs. Green cushions on them made the chairs look as comfortable as anything else.

Everywhere were various wallpapers of Slytherin and statues of Snakes.

Smaug got a bloody bag out of his trunk and opened a passage that led directly to the chambers of secret.

Grumbling about how Salazar could have made this a big slide as well he set to drag the bag with him, until he remembered he was wizard and could levitate it, which he then did.

As he arrived he was greeted by disco music.

'Don't tell me she is at it again?'

Sighing and entering he greeted the big snake who was trying to do the disco.

"Sabra, you don't have any arms, you won't be able to do the disco. I got your food here, turn off the music and get over here."

An angry hiss was heard but the music stopped nonetheless.

"Massster, one day I will learn the disssco. It isss the perfect dance for all ssssssspeciessss."

Ruffling the big youths midnight blue hair she set to eat the offered turkeys.

"Yeah yeah, sure thing."

Smaugs deep violet eyes looked over the chamber.

"You didn't clean over the summer it seems, I told you to clean you joke for a dick."

"Massster don't ssssspeak such vile thingssssss. It doesss not sssuit your exterior. You walk like an arisssstocrat but when you open your mouth only vile thingsss come out of it. You will never find a ssssuitable mate that way."

"I don't want to find a mate, it's a fucking drag. Besides who would want to shag just one girl for the rest of their life? It's bloody insane is what it is."

The basilisk just hissed and continued eating.

Turning around and changing the music to heavy metal he left the chamber.

Thinking seriously he had to make preparations for when the tournament came.

He had to browse French magazines to see what French witches liked.

As he came back he scratched the scar running through his left eye and went to bed thinking up even more insults for after he shagged one of the French witches,


End file.
